Impulsive

Does art imitate life? Or is it the other way around?

Today’s blog is brought to you by a very eventful weekend and by the letter I—for impulsive.

First, I’d like to address and answer my opening question.

I wrote a book last summer, “The Golden Bee”. The book is about a STEAM competition that takes place at a fictional charter school in Chicago. The protagonist, Stephanie happens to have ADHD. She struggles with a lesser known ADHD symptom—controlling her emotions.

Her teacher makes her one of the group leaders. He wants her to prove to herself and to the class she’s more than the impulsive emotional outbursts she has when faced with negative situations.

Throughout the book Stephanie exhibits some very poor impulsive decisions. I can’t tell you what exactly—you have to buy the book!

I will say this though, some of her impulsive decisions are made with love. She may be a lot to handle, but she is a super loyal and loving friend.

You may have already guessed that Stephanie was created in the likeness of myself. I know I’m a lot to handle—believe me I’ve been told on multiple occasions. It stings because I don’t mean to be the way I am, it just happens.

I grew up in the 80’s and 90’s when ADHD was becoming common because more children were being tested. I was one of those kids tested, diagnosed and given an explanation of why I was not cutting it in school. So, I was given Ritalin to deal with the attention deficit.

However, they hadn’t realized some of my personality characteristics were also because of the ADHD. It wasn’t just my inability to focus during class. So unlike Stephanie, I didn’t have a therapist who was teaching me techniques to help cope or an understanding of my behavior. I just thought I was crazy.

As I mentioned in previous blogs I suffer terribly from rejection sensitive dysphoria as well as acting incredibly impulsive.

I have lots of “terrific” examples of me losing my cool, but I won’t bore you with all of them. Although, the one when I jumped up and called the car salesman a liar and cried because he offered us the wrong deal and rescinded it is pretty entertaining.

Now let’s discuss the inspiration for this blog.

This weekend a friend of mine was bullied—yes bullied—on a social media site. It’s almost sad that I’m telling this story and I’m forty-two years old. Ya know what? It’s not ALMOST sad, it is sad. I won’t get into details, but my friend did nothing wrong. The bullies were so aggressive I didn’t think at all, I immediately jumped online and started commenting in an effort to try and help. My intentions were good, but unfortunately I made things worse.

I also got angry at one of my Twitter pals—cause I’m twelve—and started a very unnecessary argument. This outburst ultimately put a dent in the relationship.

I do that a lot—I dent relationships.

When I’m upset I’m like an angry bulldog with blinders. It’s not pretty. I just ram myself head first into whatever it is that lit the little fire in my belly. I make a dent. After a few dents people start to figure out—I’m a lot to handle.

In my defense though, I think social media was to blame for this weekend. Social media etiquette is not easy. Not just for squirrels, for everyone. Everything is just in your face. Anyone is allowed to comment on anything you post. They can say whatever they want. People with mental instability can have massive amounts of power and cause substantial amounts of damage. The slightest misstep can be used against you and destroy you in seconds. There’s LOTS of negative impulsive behavior going on on social media by everyone—it’s not JUST squirrels.

These events got me thinking. Twitter doesn’t need an “edit” button. They need a—why don’t you sit and think about this for at least an hour before you post it—button. I would totally appreciate this button for my text messages as well. An even better idea would be a questionnaire appearing with a series of questions like this:

Are you sending this text while angry?

Is this to anyone you work with?

What could possibly go wrong if this person is upset by this message?

And finally: If you end up sending this—make sure it’s ****ing and not ducking.

Side Note: I decided to take a mental break from social media for a bit. This weekend took a toll on me and I just want to recharge. I think it’s healthy for people to take breaks from social media. Especially us squirrels with addictive personalities. It can be completely consuming and cause unnecessary stress and anxiety.

Side Note 2: The title and picture of this blog was brought to you by my impulsive behavior. I googled songs about being impulsive and Wilson Phillips and the song “Impulsive” was the first thing that popped up.

Stay Squirrely,

Daynah

Published by squirrleyone

I’m a forty-two year old wife and mother of three humans and one Dalmatian. I was diagnosed with inattentive ADHD in 1994. I graduated from Columbia College in 2001 with a Bachelors Degree in Art. Currently, I work as a paraprofessional and just completed my first middle-grade novel, “Best in Class”.

2 thoughts on “Impulsive

  1. I’m really glad you cleared up what the photo heading was about at the end of this post because I was really wondering. I’m sorry you dove into a Twitter battle this weekend. I saw other friends out there having a battle too. Was it a full moon or something? Yes, impulse control affects relationships for people with ADD. In fact, it is usually the deciding factor which makes parents consider meds for their child, imho. It’s good that you can see it and take a step back to regroup when it happens. Kids don’t have the experience to do this.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: